I just recently went back to California. I love Long Beach. That's home. Soon as I hit the streets in my (brother's) truck I felt like I ran that town again. Had my buddy Luke with me and at almost every street corner, I had a story. Why did I ever leave?
Ha. Good question. I left a place where people vacationed. I lived 10 minutes from the beach. My friends. My family. Everything I needed within 10 minutes of driving. It was convenient. It's what I was used to. It's HOME.
Oh that's right. God. Here I am with my selfish thinking. Almost every sentence prior to this has some sort of self posessive word or the word "I" in it. I didn't move for me. I THOUGHT I did, but God wants me here in Iowa. I don't know exactly why.. The interview for the job was ridiculously easy. I'm learning some lessons here. Maybe it's to mature here. Maybe it's to take me away from California where I was content with my immaturity, downward-trending maturity, and partying/wasting my life.
What I always thought I needed was not what I needed. All I've needed all along is Jesus. I don't need a girlfriend right now - I mean I want one, thankfully I haven't REALLY lead on any women. My last relationship earlier this year was a slap in the face that just cus I was lonely didn't mean I needed a gilfriend - I just need to stop being lonely. But it is kinda hard out here without all the friends, without all the things to do, without California life. It sucks sometimes. I yearn for that companionship. I yearn for that selfless giving. I need to yearn that for Christ, then all will fall into place.
