I've Had Quite A Week

Oo Hello, Blog. I am your owner. You've been neglected for some time. For this I apologize.

Since I've left you, I've met a woman.Her name is Holly. I love her. I call her my wife now. That's probably why I haven't written to you for quite some time, but here's the happenings now... In more detail than you would ever ask for.

Celebrated my 3rd month as a married man last Sunday. Cockily, I said "Yeah we got this marriage thing down. Don't know what the people were talking about with struggles, etc"

Remember that part in Titanic where that guy said "God Himself  can't sink this ship."

Or that time that LeBron told Miami "I don't know if we'll bring home 4 championships, 5 championships, 6 championships..."

Last Monday was just like any other Monday. I worked. I hugged and kissed my wife as much as I could. We shopped for groceries. We ate dinner.

Only this time, topped on my Spumoni ice cream, came a stomach pain I've never felt before. "That'll poop out," I thought. "I'll sleep this one off," I thought. Nothing. No sleep. Just angst. So much angst. Holly stayed awake with me and assured me that I would be okay. I'm curled in a ball at this point just wanting it to stop, and here she was praying with me. Talking to God, begging Him to take the pain away.
 
3 am came by, and we needed to go to the Emergency Room. The attendent that helped me out at the front desk was really nice. There was a plaque that said something to the effect of, "Do not physically or verbally abuse the staff.. You will be asked to leave."  I turn to the guy and said," I'm in a heck of a lot of pain right now, but don't worry about me *points to sign* I'm nice, and my punches aren't very hard ;)" The man gives me a pity smirk and gives me some forms to sign.

I'm wheeled (wheelchair rides are free) to a room. They stick an IV in me where my first wolverine claw would be if X-Men was real (see what I said about detail earlier?), and did a bunch of tests. My doctor said poop so many times I almost lost it... yadda yadda yadda... tests came back, and it turns out I have a kidney stone. (I give up on detail, it's getting kinda late)

I rest the next day, and come back to work the rest of the week.

What a great wife I have. So loving and sympathetic to my needs. She cries when something mildly bothers me. Weeps when I tell her how awesome my life insurance plan is when I die. My pains are her pains doubled, and I love her more each day. Many of my weaknesses are her strengths, and sympathy is something I lack.

How can I be more sympathetic? "Next time she needs me, I'll show sympathy"

She lost her job earlier today. There's my time to be sympathetic, right? YEAH! You would think! All I could think of for the first minute was, "Oh man. Bills. Christmas season. Replacement job. Game plan. Move back to my parents house. Yeah that..."

Why do I pretend like God isn't sovereign. Like He isn't in control of everything. I need to stop defining my life on how much money I have, how much satisfaction I'm getting from my job, and what others think of me, when the creator of the universe gave me His Son's righteousness. What more do I need? Naked I came into the world, naked will I leave. How's that for Job?

I have so much to learn. And I'm hurting right now physically and I'm worrying about my health and my finances... But there's only so much worry I can do before that becomes selfish.

My Blue Camera

I got an e-mail two days ago from my church's secretary informing me that they she has found a camera, and they think it's mine (because of the amount of selfies I've collected over the years). I just want to take a couple sentences to commend my church's administrative staff for going through the troubles of looking through my SD card (because my camera has been lost for about two years and did not turn on), and identifying me. They could have easily thrown it in the lost and found box. BUT ANYWAY Diane is great. Love my church.

This camera has been lost for about two years. Yes, Virginia, my camera has been sitting in the crevice of a couch in the fireside room for that long. It's been accompanied with cookie crumbs and whatever it is that church people eat. I thought to myself, the pictures in this are going to be reflective of a Jason from 1.5 years ago. A Jason with no church to call home. A Jason who was new and uncomfortable and did not know too many people. I remember the day I lost my camera - I haven't even met Justin yet officially. And it was the day I met Jackie.

Jackie

Yeah. The Voldemort to my Harry Potter. The one who shan't be named (don't know if that was the correct phrasing, but I wanted an excuse to say "shan't").  (Disclaimer: I have nothing against her. I'm not saying she's an evil wizard trying to kill me in the least. I think at this point in my life, I've been separated from her as healthy as two people can be after they've had a deep relationship)

Needless to say, as soon as I got home, I popped a battery in and reminisced on life before her. Who was I? What was I like? Was I better? Was I worse? Who was Jason?

THIS was Jason

(Note: photos uploaded at random with no previews in this window thing straight from my SD card)

It was pretty nice not to define myself by a failed relationship. To think about the past and really really fool myself into thinking those were the good old days. It's really easy to do that - just assume that the times in your past were better than they really were. It sucked being unemployed.  It sucked having winters without subzero temperatures. (Kidding, I'll take a snow-less winter any day.) It sucked not knowing what not to do in a relationship. It sucked not knowing what I know now from that last relationship

Finding this camera made me realize two things:

1) Life was pretty good before my last relationship

2) Life could be way worse

In the last couple of weeks, I've been talking to a few girls. Went out with a couple. Truly, there are plenty more fish in the sea - it's not that I necessarily have moved on to another girl. But there are people out there. Attractive women. Godly women. Women that have good taste in music. Ones that can cook. Ones that like me. It's not the end of the world. It's the beginning of a new one with a skeleton-less closet.

I'm truly thankful for the experiences. I'm just glad that I feel like I'm finally truly moving on.