Since I've left you, I've met a woman.Her name is Holly. I love her. I call her my wife now. That's probably why I haven't written to you for quite some time, but here's the happenings now... In more detail than you would ever ask for.
Celebrated my 3rd month as a married man last Sunday. Cockily, I said "Yeah we got this marriage thing down. Don't know what the people were talking about with struggles, etc"
Remember that part in Titanic where that guy said "God Himself can't sink this ship."
Or that time that LeBron told Miami "I don't know if we'll bring home 4 championships, 5 championships, 6 championships..."
Last Monday was just like any other Monday. I worked. I hugged and kissed my wife as much as I could. We shopped for groceries. We ate dinner.
Only this time, topped on my Spumoni ice cream, came a stomach pain I've never felt before. "That'll poop out," I thought. "I'll sleep this one off," I thought. Nothing. No sleep. Just angst. So much angst. Holly stayed awake with me and assured me that I would be okay. I'm curled in a ball at this point just wanting it to stop, and here she was praying with me. Talking to God, begging Him to take the pain away.
3 am came by, and we needed to go to the Emergency Room. The attendent that helped me out at the front desk was really nice. There was a plaque that said something to the effect of, "Do not physically or verbally abuse the staff.. You will be asked to leave." I turn to the guy and said," I'm in a heck of a lot of pain right now, but don't worry about me *points to sign* I'm nice, and my punches aren't very hard ;)" The man gives me a pity smirk and gives me some forms to sign.
I'm wheeled (wheelchair rides are free) to a room. They stick an IV in me where my first wolverine claw would be if X-Men was real (see what I said about detail earlier?), and did a bunch of tests. My doctor said poop so many times I almost lost it... yadda yadda yadda... tests came back, and it turns out I have a kidney stone. (I give up on detail, it's getting kinda late)
I rest the next day, and come back to work the rest of the week.
What a great wife I have. So loving and sympathetic to my needs. She cries when something mildly bothers me. Weeps when I tell her how awesome my life insurance plan is when I die. My pains are her pains doubled, and I love her more each day. Many of my weaknesses are her strengths, and sympathy is something I lack.
How can I be more sympathetic? "Next time she needs me, I'll show sympathy"
She lost her job earlier today. There's my time to be sympathetic, right? YEAH! You would think! All I could think of for the first minute was, "Oh man. Bills. Christmas season. Replacement job. Game plan. Move back to my parents house. Yeah that..."
Why do I pretend like God isn't sovereign. Like He isn't in control of everything. I need to stop defining my life on how much money I have, how much satisfaction I'm getting from my job, and what others think of me, when the creator of the universe gave me His Son's righteousness. What more do I need? Naked I came into the world, naked will I leave. How's that for Job?
I have so much to learn. And I'm hurting right now physically and I'm worrying about my health and my finances... But there's only so much worry I can do before that becomes selfish.
