The Best Laid Plans

The best laid schemes o' Mice an' Men,
Gang aft agley,
An' lea'e us nought but grief an' pain,
For promis'd joy!
(The best laid schemes of Mice and Men
oft go awry,
And leave us nothing but grief and pain,
For promised joy!)
-Robert Burns

I've been really into British literature these past two weeks. It's really weird. I came across that  Robert Burns poem that I read back in '03 and it really inspired me to write this. My life never goes to plan. Nay, my life never goes according to MY plan. My initial plan was to move to Iowa for a bit, live with my friends for maybe a year, move in with my bro if I'm still here, and haul my crap back to California as quickly as possible.

Didn't Happen.

God had another plan. Move here... Humble the crap outta me, take away all the distractions I had back in California, then refocus my life to Him. It took like two years for that realization. Up to a couple of weeks ago, I still thought I needed to go back to California.

My old church needs me.
I need to see my cousins grow up.
My  parents are getting older. They need me to do stuff around the house.
I need to see my old friends.

Although none of those things are bad, those aren't things that I needed. I need to grow up.

And I've grown so much here. I have great friends that encourage me spiritually. I have an awesome church. I have my brother. I can start a life here. I HAVE started a life here.

My dad had cancer two weeks ago. Now he doesn't. During that week of suffering after he was diagnosed I felt week. I felt helpless. I felt like I was useless out here, and that I should have been in California this whole time to be there for my dad. I lost sleep. I lost sanity. I lost tears. But I never lost hope in Christ. Philippians 4:4-7 is something that I've been telling others to curb anxiety. I told people that the Love of Christ surpasses all understanding. I didn't tell that to myself. I hated that all I could do was depend on Him. I always take things (or try to) into my own hands and solve whatever problems. To think that something as terrible as cancer was used to humble me. To strengthen faith in my Christ. When I got news that the cancer was gone, I rejoiced and came to the realization that no matter where I am, God is sovereign and whatever happens will happen for His glory.

After the countless of job cancellations and denials, I've come to the acceptance, the realization, the welcoming of Central Iowa being my home. This time I mean it... Because I've said that before.


For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.
   
(Jeremiah 29:11-13 ESV)

Five Of the Weirdest Things About Me

We're all weird. Only few people list and elaborate on them on blogs, and that in itself is not weird. Let's get to it.

1. I hate Styrofoam. Polystyrene foam to be exact since Styrofoam is a brand name of the Dow Chemical company that invented it so for me to continue keep saying it would be ignorant. ANYWHO. I hate it. Not for the environment purposes, but the density, texture, and weight of it for some reason causes it to become repulsive. It's completely irrational to why I hate the feel and sound of the stuff, but it's very comforting to know that I'm not alone in this world. There was a group on myspace that was 27 people strong (back when myspace was cool), and I met someone in Iowa that shares the same fear. I used to have to be in another room while objects packed in the substance are being freed from its evil clutches ie super Nintendo, drinking glasses, etc.
2. I watch anime. What's anime? Japanese animation. It's not something I'm proud of. I basically only watch Naruto.... Which is about ninjas. Ok I guess enough about that.
3. I make a weird gag sound when I brush my teeth. More specifically if I brush for more than 5 minutes or if I'm brushing my tongue. Oftentimes people ask if I'm okay whilst coming from the bathroom after brushing. It's pretty bad, and I can't not do it. Sorry roomies.
4. I need like 2 pillows to sleep. I use 3 daily.
5. If I think I don't blink my eyes at exactly the same time, I have to reblink them. I'm pretty sure I have OCD.. Or did and grew out of it out of sheer laziness.