It's Been More Than Half a Year

Yep... Since I've left the golden coast of my beautiful hometown of Long Beach, California. It's really tough being away from my family. I know that if my ten year old self finds the time portal that I'm leaving for him, and he reads this, he'd fight me (and win), but I can say that the best friends I've ever had and will have are my brothers. Being in California without both of them was pretty depressing. I remember a couple days before I left California, I was in a quiet home walking around and I swore that I could see holograms of my past as I took one more tour around Casa De Los Reyes. I saw where I punched  hole in the wall.. Where Carl popped a zit on me because I had great skin, I saw where Ryne got his head stuck in the stair railings.

A song lyric popped into my head just now "Being grown up isn't half as fun as growing up." It's sad to think that the best days of my life are behind me. No.. they definitely are behind me. The world didn't get any more boring as I grew older, my brain is just a lot harder to entertain. "Sometimes it's the boring stuff that I remember the most," Russell From Up. Inventing games, kicking a ball for hours, videogames.. Nothing has brought me more meaningless joy from when I was a kid. I remember thinking that I could not wait to get out of my house and live on my own. I had a pretty deprived childhood having no privacy whatsoever in a house with my grandparents, 2 aunts, 2 brothers, and my parents. Its like we had three sets of parents. And now that I'm apart from them, I can't wait to see them again. Funny how that works out huh? You never know what you got till it's gone.

My job sucks. I wish that was gone. But I KNOW God is trying to teach me something. Or a couple of things. Like humility, patience, and about drawing me towards him more, and seeking opportunities to serve even in the darkest places (The IRS). Maybe that's it? Cus I don't know if you knew this, but I don't do too well in being humble. Maybe that's why God took me out of California in the first place? Maybe.. maybe maybe.. All I know is when the Iowa chapter of my life goes away, I'll know exactly what I had... But for now, I'm just living it, and right now it's okay.

Being in Iowa is not the happiest all the time It's definitely not killing be, but it's definitely making me stronger.

A Place Fit for Punishment

Imagine a place where you are constantly watched. A place where everything you do,every word you said,  the smallest actions, every detail could be monitored at any time. Even going to the bathroom could be recorded...

Oh. That's where I work. If I learned anything about myself in the last 6 months working it's patience. If it's another thing, I DISLIKE BEING MANAGED. I hate having a woman boss. Sexist? No. I just can't deal with my superior being inferior to me. ha. Women. Kidding of course... But there is something about the personality of my boss that gets me really mad. She won't say "Merry Christmas" because she's a manager, but she will use profanity and vulgar language in every day office talk.

My job goes a little something like this - I sit down at my desk, I sign into all of my systems that I use, I click something for a taxpayer to get on my line and I answer the phone identifying myself, ask for their information, and i research.. and research and research until I find a resolution to their financial problem. Sounds easy right? No.. not really. In training, they taught us how to find where to find the right steps. They through things at us in training that went over our heads. So.. I don't know what I'm doing sometimes, my phone calls are monitored, and if I need to pee, I have to let them know. Yeah... I know. That's not even the worst part.

I'm used to helping people. I was a youth group coordinator. I was a camp counselor. A tutor. A teachers' assistant. A customer service representative. A barista. Someone who SERVES! SOMEONE WHO HELPS PEOPLE.

I haven't been that person in a while. I haven't been helping people, I have been helping people within guidelines. I enforce now. I enforce laws, payment plans, other rules... I get people borderline suicidal. I have a hand in people getting their houses foreclosed on. I've taken away Christmas from peoples' children with my headset and optical mouse.

What am I supposed to learn from this?

Technology Dependance

I remember in 1997 or 1998 when I saw a documentary on the Japanese and their culture. The conflict of tradition and innovation. The eastern differences. The bizarre world of Japan. From public bath houses to sumo.. their culture has always interested me. I remember watching that they were extremely dependent on their phones relaying through text messaging, relying on their phones for news, weather, and their phones even had a built in camera. I remember how foreign that was to me having technological dependence on one device.

I think it's gonna take a while before sumo and public bath houses make their effect in western culture, but the cell phone has made its mark on the world. I remember poking fun at the idea of texting as an adolescent "why can't you just call them and say it... pfffffft!"

My phone's touch screen broke. Meaning - I can't send text messages. I can't update twitter. I can't update facebook. My mobile device has been reduced to a mere phone. Not fun.

Am I supposed to learn something from this? Is God telling me to be less dependent on my phone? Well.. that's what I'm taking it as. Patience. I don't like learning this way. But I guess it's the best way to learn.