I Was Home For A Little Bit

December 24-26th, I was in Long Beach, CA. My hometown, my stomping ground, hood, dwelling... I was HOME. It was short-lived and everything felt so nostalgic. I couldn't believe that I was with my brothers again. It just felt so awesome being with my best friends - the two people I know I can always count on.

A stop at In N Out then Coffee Bean, and it was off to my grandma's. She looked so happy to see us all together again. After some small talk, and some of Ryne's fish stories.. (fish as in women).. My grandma was in tears of laughter and said "I wish your grandpa were here to see you guys all together and grown up, he would be so proud." It was quiet. I tried not to cry. I wanted to say something, but I couldn't think of anything appropriate. 

Out of the whole trip, the moment that really stuck out to me (although seeing family was a great joy!) were when I was by myself tending to the rose garden and pouring soil.. I remember my grandpa, who I grew up with, worked hard to keep that garden up. I struggled lifting the 70 pound bags of dirt/fertilizer thinking "how did this old man do it at his age?" That got me thinking about him more and more

Yesterday it would have been three years since his death. The bags of dirt that were conveniently packaged seemed to not be so heavy and troublesome, thinking of my grandfather and his daily struggles on the farm, and later the navy ship. He joined the navy to go to America so his family didn't have to struggle and work the manual labor that he did. I bet he didn't imagine his grandchild to be fat, lazy, and unappreciative. I'm so blessed and spoiled, here I am complaining about the cubicle and air conditioning in my office.

My brothers and I visited his grave a few hours before we left for the airport. Tears fell as I stared at the inscription "Beloved husband, father, and grandfather... And we are forever grateful," I was thanking God that although my grandfather's body lay below, his spirit dwells with my Savior. I thank God that he allowed such a man in my life to teach me by example. He was a man of few words, but the love he has shared spoke volumes. Three years later, I feel the void in my heart.

Day 465 In Iowa... Let's Start a Bucket List!

Not like I'm counting or anything.. And through that year and three plus months I've gone through a house, an apartment (more like dorm), a car crash (RIP Corolla), about 3 blizzards, my first Chargers game, my first official girlfriend in 8 years, my first official breakup in 8 years (3 weeks later), 3 bosses, 2 supervisors, one life changing culture shocking experience from the midwest, and made some of the best friends I could ever imagine.

As great a place as I think I'm in right now, I, for some reason, cannot grasp that I could very well be here for a long long time. God's been showing me things about myself that has allowed me to grow spiritually, He has humbled me beyond what I thought could be done, and He's given me an appreciation for the life I live (and I will write soon on what those things are).

There's something in the corner of my mind that cannot comprehend that California is not my State of residence. Every other (early) morning I wake up, stare at the glowing stars on my ceiling and say "Whoa. I moved from Long Beach, CA to Ankeny, IA. Un. Real." I know right? Every time someone hears that, I hear "Um and you did that because...?"

Oh come on, Iowans.. There's fun things to do other than corn shucking.... Right? Well my parents and older brother are PROBABLY coming to visit with my baby bro graduating and all (Lord willing) this May, and I should PROBABLY do some homework on my state and see what there is to do here, so through my online research, I've compiled some things I want to do  before I leave Iowa/this Earth.

1. Iowa State Fair

I hear it's one of the best in the US. And I've had an opportunity to go... And I bought a plane ticket from August 10-24 to Long Beach, so 2012 is probably out of the question but I NEED to go to one. I hear all the hullabaloo about these fairs, rides, deep fried novelties, and blah blah blah. I just need to witness how lame great these fairs are in person.. Plus Colbie Caillait and Maroon 5 were all performing here in the recent years and I MISSED EM!
2. Corn Maze

Well the one pictured here is Arnold's Park, IA. I just want to go into a corn maze. I hate close quarters and I'm kind of claustrophobic (spelled that correctly without spell check *back pat*), but I was inspired by a Rob Dyrdek, "... Next time you have a dream, go try to live it and see if you suck at it," and yes my allergies and fears will be tested but at least I get to cross something off a list!

3. Miniature Golf

Well I don't know where one is here. I've seen ads for a couple courses, but they've shut down. And I've seen some lame courses,  but dang it, MINI GOLF IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE THINGS TO DO EVER, AND I WILL FIND A LEGITIMATE COURSE.

4. Out of State Festivities - Like going to the Mall of America, going to Oklahoma Joe's which I hear is the best BBQ ever, and maybe visit Chicago for some of their scenery like the bean, eat a deep dish pizza... Wrigley Field...

These are just a few of the things on top of my head, and I really really wanna do something adventurous starting in 2012 when weather permits. Who's in?

Occupy A Life

I remember, throughout all of school we were drilled in our minds "You need to go to college, so you can get a good job and make a lot of money" That was backed up statistics of false hope such as "Someone with a college degree is X times more likely than to get a job over someone without one,"  and threatened with horrible alternate outcomes like "If you don't go to college, then you'll be flipping burgers for the rest of your life!"

We grew up. We were spoon fed warm-feeling ideologies of "Follow your heart to see what kind of degree you want, and you'll be successful!" We weren't given the backup statistics of those majors and the likeliness of landing a job. We also weren't warned that our economy was going to suck really bad by the time we graduated. We were given false ideas that physical labor was the worst thing that can happen to you, "flipping burgers." Etc.. And our liberal upbringings routed us towards such useless concentrations such as psychology, sociology, anthropology, and women's studies.

How did those majors become popular? Oh that's right the education system forced us to take those classes so that teachers that taught them could have jobs. And those teachers, in turn filled our minds with useless information, and even convinced us to major in that field because accounting, computer science, and all those other cubicle jobs were SO repetitive. I mean I'd rather work in a cubicle than beg the failing school system daily to let you teach there... and then come home to a lonely cardboard box, right occupy wall street?

I wonder what his major was.

Pretty much my generation was taught to get good grades, get a good job, and get a lot of money. Along the way, we have this beautiful thing called the internet, which (if you're reading this you PROBABLY know) is an invention that allows you to think you're smart. Type in any words in a search engine and BOOM! AN answer. A statistic. Then  you sound smart. And you didn't even have to buy a Snapple and read a cap!

Now I'll just stop right there.... In no way am I trying to say I'm better off than other people, nor am I a good living example of what to do to be economy proof. I was a mediocre student who didn't apply himself and did not aim high. I chose my major (Accounting) because it was the first thing listed on the schedule of classes at LBCC, and I had a federal/parental paid education through my undergrad education. I was a B student and my job right now doesn't have THAT much to do with my major.

The economy is terrible. People are jobless. People are scared. Government has to bail them out to save jobs and to salvage consumer confidence. What are the occupy people trying to prove? I'm sure if you camped out at a place that was hiring, they'd eventually tap out and give you a job. I'm sorry you still have to live with your parents and eat ramen every day. Occupy - Go home. Take a shower. Revamp your resume and look for those opportunities. Your tuition isn't going to pay itself.

Time of Reflection

About two months ago, I set went along for a ride to Ohio to see the installation service of a Pastor friend of mine in Elyria, OH. I decided to go on the voyage with Brett, Nick, Derek, and Westley because I coincidentally had the Friday off, and I thought "Hey, I haven't seen Carrie Olsen in ages... I'm not doing anything exciting with my life right now.. Road trip sounds good!" Well we all set off.. Bout a 10 hour drive with Brett driving... Well, it was more like we FLEW there he was driving so fast. The Olsen family was nice enough to late me stay for a night, but didn't wanna wake the at 2 in the morning, so I stayed with Brett and ventured over the next day. The next morning, Brett was driving down an unpaved dirt road that Amish people frequented. The car hopped up hills, slid down the hills, and there were nice winding curves. My heart leaped out of my chest a couple times... Pretty much thought I would die. As I got to the Olsen home, Mr. Olsen greeted me, and asked me how my trip was.

"Well, it was a pretty quick trip. Brett was driving horribly fast down the county road... bout 75 mph or so. Thought I was gonna die!"
"Wow.. Horse and buggy go down this road... Good thing he didn't get any of em! Well looks like God still has a plan for you because you're still alive and breathing!" Mr. Olsen replied while making his exit.

Heh. You know what's funny? That whole mini-story, that whole weekend... You know what I remember the most about that weekend? I remember that quote... God still has a plan for you.


    In him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will, so that we who were the first to hope in Christ might be to the praise of his glory.
(Ephesians 1:11-12 ESV)

Yep. There's some scripture. I'm still here... and I might be to the praise of His glory. What have I done for Christ lately? How earnest was my devotion time with God today? Are my prayers genuine? What can I get involved with at church or in the lives of fellow believers? How can I encourage people? When's the last time I got into a spiritual conversation? Was that just an opportunity to share Christ at work? God, what purpose do you have for me on this earth right now? How can I serve?

Just a couple of questions that were looming through my head that weekend. It was also a great time at church the next morning... It was the 9/11 service, and during that worship time, we watched a video (Which can be viewed below) about 9/11. God had many circumstances planned out where some people missed those very flights that lead to the death of those people. God spared their lives because they have a purpose. It's the case right now - God is sparing my physical health right now, and how I am I using it? God was done with the people on this earth from the people who have passed. There are people that are bed-ridden in this world - and here I am, lounging at my desk or on the couch watching the game. God gave me good health and a good life to be living for Him. And often times I seem to live for things that he died for... Me.. Sin.

My prayer is that I become  a faithful servant. I can be in His word daily and still take the smallest thing for granted. I have taken people for granted. I am selfish. God has given me so much that I am humbled and shamed to what little I offer Him with back with my life these days. Romans 12 says to offer myself as a living sacrifice unto the Lord. Let that be my desire. Let that be my reality. God died in my place, and here I am not living for Him as much as I should.

Original Pickup Lines

Original Pickup Lines (Last update: 08/10/08)©

Yeah. I dug into the deep recesses of outdated social networking sites to bring out my next blog topic. Recently, I came across some friends exchanging pickup lines. I am KIND OF a pickup line genius. I think of them all the time... And I have compiled them into one short list.

If you can't find cheesey pickup lines humorous, then stop reading now... i mean if you didn't then why the heck did you click on a blog entitled 'pickup lines?'


Most of you know that one of my favorite things to do is swap pickup lines. And some of you know that I don't use them to fetch me my women. Even less of you know that I make up my own from time to time. So here's a list that I've made up without hearing from or looking up from other people or on the internet......



1) You must be a box of Lucky Charms, cuz you lookin' magically DELICIOUS
2) You're so beautiful, that it's almost a shame to blink.
3) The thing that finally gets me to sleep is the thought that I may dream of you.
4) I was told that I could only hope  to meet a girl like you, thanks for making my dreams come true.
5) It must suck being as hot as you are. Your icecream probably melts before it gets to your mouth, and you can't be within 20 feet of some vehicles.
6) I'm sorry, there's no smoking inside this building. I'll have to escort you outside. [If she doesn't get it] (I'm not smoking!) Yeah you are.... smokin' hot!
7) So... I hear your milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.
8) GIVE IT BACK! (Give what back?)  You just stole my heart!
9) Girl, you're like a broken pace maker, cuz you made my heart skip a beat.
10) Can I have it back please? (what?) You just took my breath away.
11) So... do you like fat guys with no money?
12) 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9, *Points to line target* TEN!
(explanation: perfect 10. the girl is a 'ten')
13) How's your fever? (what?) I guess you just looked hot to me.
14) It's not St. Patty's day, but I'll let you pinch me anyways!!!
15) I'm FilipiNO, but I bet you could turn me into a filipiYES!
16) Do you have a twin sister? (no) Then you must be the most beautiful woman in the world.
17) If you were a new burger at McDonald's, then you'd probably be called the McBeautiful .
18) Wow... you're so gorgeous, that you made me forget my pickup line
19) My love for you is like diarrhea... I just can't hold it in.
20) So.. were you born beautiful, of did you have to work on it?
21) I wish i were in my favorite place right now. Why? Where's your favorite place? In your arms.
23) Somebody call the baker, cus he's missing a sweetie pie RIGHT HERE.
24) FOUND YOU! I'm on a scavenger hunt, and the LAST thing we need is the most beautiful woman in the world. Please come with me...
25) Ey baby, you need to be in a coffee cup labeled "contents: HOT"
26) ACHOOOO! Bless You. Thanks... I must be allergic to sexy.     
27) Hey. I came to check out how things were here, but found myself checking YOU out instead... (works well in a library or video rental store: e.g. check out a book.. check out a movie.. not that i would use these)
28) I never used to believe in love at first sight.... until i saw you.  
29) When I fell for you, I fell flat on my face. How bout kissing away the pain?
30) Wanna get some coffee? I know a place.
31) If you were a grind for coffee, I think you'd be set for a turkish grind. Cus your'e super fine. I'm a barista, I would know.
32) I can't wait 'till tomorrow... Cus I bet you get more beautiful everyday.  
33) I think I need to call the SWAT team... cus you're the bomb
34) If my heart had a myspace, you'd be number one on its top friends.
35) You in a gang? cus your body's BANGIN!
36) FINALLY! I found someone to put in my 'who I'd like to meet section' on myspace!
36) Heyyy.. do you know if they got anything in here as sweet as you are? (in a place they serve sweet items... coffee, drinks..)
37) I bet you look better in person than on myspace.
38) I wish I had transition glasses, cus your beauty is radiant.
39) You're so fly, you make birds look lazy.
40) You remind me of a rockband guitar, I just wanna hold you.

(yeah. i know. i work for the coffee bean(and tea leaf), get over it)


Yeah... so if any of these were over your head, then feel free to comment, and I'll explain. I assure you, i made all of these up pretty much on my own.

Oh Facebook.

You ever notice on Facebook that the layout is always changing, and you can do more and more and more with it pretty much every month. It's expanding, and we're adapting. Not too long ago, there was a whole layout change. Everybody's news feeds bombarded with their friends complaining about the transition. Take whatever side you want - you're still on Facebook. You will adapt. You will then be content with the layout. And you will be used to it - only to have it change again. And we'll repeat the process. Fact is that we have a choice. If you don't like it you don't have to be on Facebook.There's one very important thing I learned from Management Informations Systems yknow.. cus I have a business background... And it's this

"'If it ain't broke, don't fix it,' is an outdated saying... Cus if you wait till it's broke to fix it, somebody who done fixed it is gonna steal your business - So if it ain't broke, fix it up and make sho it stay not broke!" - My African American Teacher

It's true, isn't it Myspace?... Friendster... non-iPod MP3 player... Blockbuster Video... Record Shop, Comic book store, ridiculously baggy pants, pager companies, AOL?

Truth is, if we get used to it then we get bored of it. No matter how much we've enjoyed using it, no matter how faithful it's been to us, we will leave it and look for something beter..... Isn't it true, every girl I've ever had romantic interest in?

Things are always going to change. And we are always going to have to adapt.

We were made to worship. That's why it's so easy to fall into something and devote something and to have an event/someone/something be a God over you. To many of us, it has become Facebook itself. This was a reality check to me.  If I can easily adapt to something as simple as a new layout and not complain about it, why can't I adapt to a situation that God has put me under? Why can't I take the practical instruction in His Word and easily apply it like I'm often commanded to do. Doing a bible study on 1 John after how many times of studying it in past years has really effected e this year. Is it a coincidence that Paul's conclusive statement in the letter says "Children guard yourself from idols?" Yes, this little not-so-significant layout change got me thinking that. Haha. Let's adapt. No matter how far I've come from my old self, I know it's not far enough. I can't use my own strength to do God's will. I have to use His.

I Ain't Afraid of No Ghost

First of all *insert cliche 'wow I haven't written in this forever' line.. but make it creative and stuff and then laugh at the end*

whew.

So my house is haunted. But before I tell you a couple of stories, let me give you a disclaimer - I don't believe in that kinda stuff really.. but there's been some weird stuff happening in the house... That leads me to believe that if I even believed in that kinda stuff, then I would believe this house is haunted.... But I don't. Although it's really freaky that I'm starting to write this at 1:35 at night... and the dryer is making weird noises. ANYWHO

1) The smoke alarm goes off. Mmkay.. so my dear friend Elijah was staying over our house one night, and it randomly went off... like 3 times in the night. Here's the thing... THERE WAS NO SMOKE! We thought maybe the dryer vapors were seeping up to the detector making it sound off - so we turned off the dryer - It goes off AGAIN! My (tall) friend, Kenny took out the alarm and it went off in his hands and it had NO POWER SOURCE! Also I heard that this was on some horror movie my friend Elijah has seen "Paranormal Activity." The smoke alarm has gone off a couple of times while I was alone in the house.

2) Marbles. Not only have I lost them, but there is a jar of marbles that no one touches on a little side table in the kitchen. One day I came in through the door, no one was home, and in the corner of my eye I saw the marbles suddenly fall. Yeah. Ghost trying to lay booby traps like in home alone where Caulkin bests those criminals to fall into the hole in the ground.

3) Joe Allen, my lovely roomate told me about one time where he stayed in the house and he saw someone watching him in the dark. It was a kid. Joe yelled, the silhouette ran away, Joe chased and he never saw him.again. Ooo.. didja get chills? Maybe it was a dream? I don't know, but Joe doesn't lie.

4) There was one time I went to use the bathroom in my brothers room.. the door opened for me. I figured "oh.. the fans are on. They made a suction for the door to open." I took two steps and the door closed behind me. No big deal.. I had to go. So I dropped off the kids at the pool THEN searched around.. No one in sight.

So there you have it. Anyone wanna have a sleepover?? We can swap ghost stories!

Yeah. It Gets Lonely.

I just recently went back to California. I love Long Beach. That's home. Soon as I hit the streets in my (brother's) truck I felt like I ran that town again. Had my buddy Luke with me and at almost every street corner, I had a story. Why did I ever leave?

Ha. Good question. I left a place where people vacationed. I lived 10 minutes from the beach. My friends. My family. Everything I needed within 10 minutes of driving. It was convenient. It's what I was used to. It's HOME.

Oh that's right. God. Here I am with my selfish thinking. Almost every sentence prior to this has some sort of self posessive word or the word "I" in it. I didn't move for me. I THOUGHT I did, but God wants me here in Iowa. I don't know exactly why.. The interview for the job was ridiculously easy. I'm learning some lessons here. Maybe it's to mature here. Maybe it's to take me away from California where I was content with my immaturity, downward-trending maturity, and partying/wasting my life.

What I always thought I needed was not what I needed. All I've needed all along is Jesus. I don't need a girlfriend right now - I mean I want one, thankfully I haven't REALLY lead on any women. My last relationship earlier this year was a slap in the face that just cus I was lonely didn't mean I needed a gilfriend - I just need to stop being lonely. But it is kinda hard out here without all the friends, without all the things to do, without California life. It sucks sometimes. I yearn for that companionship. I yearn for that selfless giving. I need to yearn that for Christ, then all will fall into place.

It's Been More Than Half a Year

Yep... Since I've left the golden coast of my beautiful hometown of Long Beach, California. It's really tough being away from my family. I know that if my ten year old self finds the time portal that I'm leaving for him, and he reads this, he'd fight me (and win), but I can say that the best friends I've ever had and will have are my brothers. Being in California without both of them was pretty depressing. I remember a couple days before I left California, I was in a quiet home walking around and I swore that I could see holograms of my past as I took one more tour around Casa De Los Reyes. I saw where I punched  hole in the wall.. Where Carl popped a zit on me because I had great skin, I saw where Ryne got his head stuck in the stair railings.

A song lyric popped into my head just now "Being grown up isn't half as fun as growing up." It's sad to think that the best days of my life are behind me. No.. they definitely are behind me. The world didn't get any more boring as I grew older, my brain is just a lot harder to entertain. "Sometimes it's the boring stuff that I remember the most," Russell From Up. Inventing games, kicking a ball for hours, videogames.. Nothing has brought me more meaningless joy from when I was a kid. I remember thinking that I could not wait to get out of my house and live on my own. I had a pretty deprived childhood having no privacy whatsoever in a house with my grandparents, 2 aunts, 2 brothers, and my parents. Its like we had three sets of parents. And now that I'm apart from them, I can't wait to see them again. Funny how that works out huh? You never know what you got till it's gone.

My job sucks. I wish that was gone. But I KNOW God is trying to teach me something. Or a couple of things. Like humility, patience, and about drawing me towards him more, and seeking opportunities to serve even in the darkest places (The IRS). Maybe that's it? Cus I don't know if you knew this, but I don't do too well in being humble. Maybe that's why God took me out of California in the first place? Maybe.. maybe maybe.. All I know is when the Iowa chapter of my life goes away, I'll know exactly what I had... But for now, I'm just living it, and right now it's okay.

Being in Iowa is not the happiest all the time It's definitely not killing be, but it's definitely making me stronger.

A Place Fit for Punishment

Imagine a place where you are constantly watched. A place where everything you do,every word you said,  the smallest actions, every detail could be monitored at any time. Even going to the bathroom could be recorded...

Oh. That's where I work. If I learned anything about myself in the last 6 months working it's patience. If it's another thing, I DISLIKE BEING MANAGED. I hate having a woman boss. Sexist? No. I just can't deal with my superior being inferior to me. ha. Women. Kidding of course... But there is something about the personality of my boss that gets me really mad. She won't say "Merry Christmas" because she's a manager, but she will use profanity and vulgar language in every day office talk.

My job goes a little something like this - I sit down at my desk, I sign into all of my systems that I use, I click something for a taxpayer to get on my line and I answer the phone identifying myself, ask for their information, and i research.. and research and research until I find a resolution to their financial problem. Sounds easy right? No.. not really. In training, they taught us how to find where to find the right steps. They through things at us in training that went over our heads. So.. I don't know what I'm doing sometimes, my phone calls are monitored, and if I need to pee, I have to let them know. Yeah... I know. That's not even the worst part.

I'm used to helping people. I was a youth group coordinator. I was a camp counselor. A tutor. A teachers' assistant. A customer service representative. A barista. Someone who SERVES! SOMEONE WHO HELPS PEOPLE.

I haven't been that person in a while. I haven't been helping people, I have been helping people within guidelines. I enforce now. I enforce laws, payment plans, other rules... I get people borderline suicidal. I have a hand in people getting their houses foreclosed on. I've taken away Christmas from peoples' children with my headset and optical mouse.

What am I supposed to learn from this?

Technology Dependance

I remember in 1997 or 1998 when I saw a documentary on the Japanese and their culture. The conflict of tradition and innovation. The eastern differences. The bizarre world of Japan. From public bath houses to sumo.. their culture has always interested me. I remember watching that they were extremely dependent on their phones relaying through text messaging, relying on their phones for news, weather, and their phones even had a built in camera. I remember how foreign that was to me having technological dependence on one device.

I think it's gonna take a while before sumo and public bath houses make their effect in western culture, but the cell phone has made its mark on the world. I remember poking fun at the idea of texting as an adolescent "why can't you just call them and say it... pfffffft!"

My phone's touch screen broke. Meaning - I can't send text messages. I can't update twitter. I can't update facebook. My mobile device has been reduced to a mere phone. Not fun.

Am I supposed to learn something from this? Is God telling me to be less dependent on my phone? Well.. that's what I'm taking it as. Patience. I don't like learning this way. But I guess it's the best way to learn.

Monday. Copyright Infringement. Pet peeves. Stress Relief.

I stayed home today. I didn't feel well enough to work on the phone all day today. Had me some tummy issues. It just felt great to have a day off though. So a little pepto. A little laying in bed for a while and I was good as new in the later afternoon. Played some video games. Hung out a little. Twas a nice relaxing day.

Today, I had dinner/lunch with my good friend Luke. We were hanging out at my apartment, when I said that I was craving dinner. We pretty much left right then and there, but I told Luke I'd meet him out by the car after I checked the mail. I got a letter from my cable/internet provider saying that I was in violation of the terms of agreement and I committed copyright infringement by downloading Shutter Island. I was in shock. I did not know what to do or say, but I put the letter on the coffee table and just went out to lunch. I told Luke of my little situation, and he was freaking out. I was still freaking out, but lunch wasn't gonna eat itself.

Luke is the type of person that breaks you down. He likes to analyze all aspects of body language: posture, eye movement, speech patterns.. He also asks the most random questions to get to know you.. So needless to say, Luke and I are very much alike. He asked me two questions that I thought would make a good topic for discussion on here.

1. What do you do for stress relief?
Well. He stumped me.  I do not recall doing anything to relieve stress. Was it mentally unhealthy to not have a regular stress relief? I just recall as a child being very angry and ragingly throwing fits of the hissy variety, hitting walls, yelling, crying, and acting.. well yknow.. CHILDISH. I told him I ate to relieve stress.. But that wasn't accurate. BUT NOW that I'm thinking about it, I took drives back in California to clear my head. One time I drove down the cost all the way to near Mexico to clear my head. Here, I don't have that luxury so much. If I drive, I get lost. But I did tell him my number one stress reliever.. Which is talking or writing about it. I have such great friends here. The best roommates I could ask for... Well, if they're not downloading pirated movies. I'm under so much stress with my job, and back home I didn't have that support where I felt everything was going to be fine. Here, I do. And I'm so glad I am where I am now.

haha

2. What are your pet peeves?
Ha. I hate when people say words when they say the abbreviation for those words/ tat word in front of it.
EG: ATM MACHINE. EIN Number. AHHHHHHHHHHH! It drives me nuts. Also the cliche, 24/7. I hate shortened words like 'delish' or 'ph'nom'.. But I have allowed some exceptions.

and there you have it. I don't feel like writing anymore. But to summarize. Copyright infringement. Bad. I don't freak out about things like I did before. Redundancy kills me. I'm cool.

Thoughts of a Fat Guy

Lately, I have been thinking about death more than usual. As dark as it sounds, I don't think about it in a sad way for the most part. Every time someone asks me "Hey are you going to _____?" or "I'll see you ______!" I typically say, "Unless I'm dead or something, yes." But I've stopped saying that because I get puzzled faces and long uncomfortable hugs... sometimes followed by "No you won't!!" or "Don't say that!" I'm just not ruling it out as a possibility. And to borrow a comedic situation from Gabriel Iglesias's I'm Not Fat, I'm Fluffy,

"Why do we have to measure life in how long we live? Why can't we measure it in the quality of life we live?..... Cus I'm not about to go on a diet, get hit by a car and die knowing that I could have had cake... When I die, I want the coroner's lab to smell like potato wedges"


As funny as that sounds, he's right... to a point. We don't know when were gonna go. So I eat. I enjoy. I live life.

Funny... That's a word that people would describe me. Every time I address my weight problem, it's in a joke. In fact about 45% of the stand up comedy I used to perform revolved around my obesity. I've been fat since about 4th grade, and looking back on it, I think I can attribute my [sometimes] good sense of humor to it. I used my weight to make friends. Growing up I made fun of myself so that I didn't give other people a chance to. Thank you belly, for my friends. I've come to terms with it. I'm a big dude. I'm insecure. I'm always thinking about how to position my body to where I look least fat. I dress in layers to distract the eye.

I put on facade of cockiness. Of assuring people I don't think I look hideous. I'd rather be called a pompous jerk than a pathetic mess. Fact is, I am insecure. Every time I thought a girl proved my pessimism wrong... It wasn't whatever x-factor qualities that initially brought any girl into my life were somehow shadowed by some force called friendship. Who'dda thunk friendship would be detrimental to my relationships with the opposite sex? I'm not dumb.. I was dumped in the past cus I'm fat. They're not to blame, though.. I am. Not gonna blame it on my mom for feeding me taco bell twice a week when she took me to [vision] therapy. Not gonna blame it on my grandfather [Lord rest his soul] for cooking well. Not gonna blame it on the California School district for feeding me salt, preservatives, and fillers. It's all on me. And I really gotta shape up.

I don't know when I'm gonna die. But I don't want my fat to be the cause of it.

Three Questions: Revisited

Over the years, I've come across a lot of people. Growing up in church, going to school, working in customer service for forever, and living day to day with an analytical nature got me to break people down really fast. As a camp counselor, you have to get to know 10 children in a mere 7 days and gain their trust, and see where you can guide them. In my lines of work and especially in customer service I learned to read people, and seek out their needs. There were many buttons I've pushed and many toes I've stepped on to make the right balance of aggressiveness in a sale. I really like to break down and simplify things. It's part of my job as a tutor to dumb things down for people... So why did I just list my qualifications? What does this have to do with the Three Questions in the title? Let me tell you... Based on my experience with people... I have a theory.... That I can break down a person.. well just about anyone's personality by asking them three simple questions. Due to the 'faith filter' my old blog was blocked. Since like all my friends go to faith.. they can finally read it.. So here's my finally coining my slick moves. haha. So I've been on quite a couple of dates. And if you know me I hate wasting my time on things.. especially women... cus yknow if I see a dead end, I don't go down that road. My typical first date usually consists of coffee first, and if the afternoon/evening is successful, then we can take it to a meal/walk depending on hunger, and if that is successful, then we can venture to a scenic place to talk some more, or maybe even a movie, and the plans make themselves until the end of the date. Typically during phase 1 (coffee) I try to have a good conversation, and if I don't then we call it a day, and we have the rest of the day/evening ahead of us as we part ways. During that conversation I like to ask my favorite three questions: What kind of music do you listen to? What's your favorite color? What do you typically get on your pizza? Depending on the responses, I have a pretty good idea of what kind of person the responder is 1. Music - Obviously this is where one can get most of their assumptions. You can gauge a person's socio-ethnic tendencies, culture, spirituality, religion, demeanor, and even their sociability based on the kind of music they listen to. FOR EXAMPLE: Christian music - it's safe to assume that they're Christian. Rap - urban. Country - fun-loving non-conformist. You can tell a lot of how reserved and how tolerant/flexible someone is based on their music. For instance, I usually will not get along with someone that ONLY listens to rap/trance/that voice in their head that tells them to listen to crappy music (: 2. Color - Well... This one isn't so obvious. I usually use this to combine with the music. But it's more of an idea of a person than actual colors. Like if a girl likes pink, she's TYPICALLY a classic girly girl. Yellow - loves life and living in the moment and always seeks instant gratification. Green - creative/unique. Blue - Tomboy. Black - ew. haha. 3. Pizza - probably my favorite question to ask. And this one seems like it doesn't really belong here... but it's probably the most important one. As americans, we have ALL consumed pizza. And as humans and our natural instinct to commune with food, we have SHARED a pizza. Now there's those people that will ABSOLUTELY not eat some toppings on their pizza. Pizza is not only a food, it's an experience to be shared with your fellow man. Now if I find that someone is persnickety about their toppings, i find that they are not a team player. And if they take a long time to respond, i take it as a good thing because it's just pizza, but they're thinking so carefully on such a question, and want don't want to mess anything up in the conversation. Too long, and they're kind of indecisive. boo. People with classic toppings usually tend to be more caring than others. Same goes for "i'll just pick off the toppings." I think I can write a book on the theory... and my eyelids are getting heavy, I may elaborate later based on response. This is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to this issue. haha. and yes, i essentially cut and paste the bottom half from my xanga entry. ha.

The Next Episode

Ooooo... Another blog. In all honesty, I like to write. I love publishing my thoughts. I find that I can save this here and look back on another day to reflect on how much better/worse I am. I strayed away from my other blog site because I wanted to separate my past self with me right now. I know that sounds kinda stuck up, I did not kill Jason Reyes, I just merely wanted to hide the broken-hearted, emo, self-loathing Californian and disassociate him with the new, I-don't-know-where-my-life-is-headed-but-I-like-it, upbeat, responsible Iowan. Wow, I hate hyphenating words.

Welp... Here I am. In Iowa for the 5th month, going on 6th  in a couple weeks. I still feel like I just moved here, but I'm sure I've grown so much and it's sad to say but I have grown apart from my friends and family back home.

I have a job at the Internal Revenue Service, and to be honest, that job has killed a couple of my emotions. I am a robot, and sometimes I have to snap myself out of it. The once, compassionate, loving, sensitive young man from Long Beach is now a working robot. Almost nothing phases me, and this blog is a thing to salvage some of that old Jason.

Being on my own out here would be tough without a strong support system. I'm living with a great friend, Alex, and my brother, Ryne. They keep me grounded. They keep me honest, and, in Christ, they make me a better person. I don't know what God has in store for the next couple of months out here in Iowa outside of my element, but I know that he's doing things. Welcome to my life, Blogger. Here's to overcoming mediocrity and making the ordinary adventurous.